The last two weeks have been hectic and seemed ridiculously busy compared to when I was at Bluestone I miss the tranquility and relaxation so much!
But I know that life isn’t like that all the time. I have to try my best to relax and deal with stress and basically just have to get on with it! The last week has been particularly stressful too. Then, on top of everything else, on Wednesday Gabriel told me that he misses me when I’m at work. Upon hearing that, I felt my heart break a little bit, and I cried.
I work because I want to, and because I have to. I want to have a career and I’ve also worked very hard to get where I am work-wise. I really love my job, and I knew becoming a Mum wouldn’t change that, although I also knew that my priorities would change.
My children come first, before work and before anything else. But working pays the bills and also means we can have a nice life. Hearing Gabriel saying he misses me hurts, because I do feel guilty leaving him to work- but this is why I condensed my hours. I have two days a week at home and weekends, so I know that we have a good chunk of time together. We do fun, education and creative activities together on those days and I know we all enjoy them. But lately, for the last few weeks, I have had to work on some of my days off. I have been so busy I had to catch up and it is obvious now that Gabriel has noticed.
Hearing Gabriel say he misses me is also nice because I miss both him and Willow too, so it’s good that it is reciprocated. I also know it’s good to miss people and like happiness, to appreciate the good I suppose you have to experience the not so good. But ultimately, hearing your child saying they miss you is hard to deal with and it creates waves of guilt right inside your soul.
Gabriel has been quiet this week. He has been missing nursery too, So I decided to act on it. I decided to take him on a Mummy date-day. Gabriel has recently become interested in Paddington and he really enjoyed the cinema the last coups of times we have been, so I decided to take him to see the film and then for some lunch afterwards. Just me and Gabriel, no distractions, just a fun day for him to have my attention.
When I asked Gabriel if he wanted to go, he jumped up and down with excitement so I knew it was a good idea! We went to the cinema this morning, on the drive we sang songs and chatted and then at the cinema Gabriel sat on my knee and cuddled me for the whole film.
He absolutely loved Paddington (it is a great film!) and it was so touching to see, at the end of the film that Gabriel cried at the happy ending. It melted my heart and I may have shed a tear myself. My little boy had been so happy to see Paddington happy that he cried. So so adorable!
After a huge cuddle, I asked Gabriel what he’d like to eat. I wanted to make him feel special and like a grown up being able to choose! We were surrounded by a variety of places, but He said he wanted McDonalds! So off we went and found one where we purchased a Happy Meal along with a chocolate milkshake, as requested!
By the end of our ‘date day’ both Gabriel and I were smiling away. It was great to take some time-out together and just enjoy each other’s company. I read so much on social media about ‘date nights’ etc, but today made me realise something. It’s not just with a partner you need to cross out some ‘special’ time in your diary once in a while. Our children appreciate treats and uninterrupted one to one time too. So from now on, once a month I shall be spending time with each of my children doing something fun and that they choose each month, Mummy date days are here to stay!