Valentine’s Day: Are You Too Busy For Romance?

Yesterday Dave and I went shopping with the kids to purchase my Mum a Birthday present. After choosing a rather lovely scarf and purse from Next for her, we then headed to Topshop.

I love Topshop. It’s always been like a good friend who ‘advises’ me of the current trends and if I’ve ever needed an outfit, for almost any occasion they’ve provided me with it. But these days, I rarely buy anything from there because well, they don’t really cater for thirty-two year old Mothers of two toddlers, who don’t get out much I suppose!

So, after a few laughs looking at items I would have bought and worn when I was eighteen, we wandered on into Oasis. Oasis is my new ‘friend’ they provide me with hard-wearing, pretty items that wash well, all essential for a Mummy! Once inside I spotted found a belted denim skirt in the sale that was reduced from £35 to £7. I couldn’t afford not to purchase it at that bargain price could I? (I put this to Dave, and predictably he rolled his eyes at me) but I purchased the skirt anyway.

As we walked out of the shop, Dave turned to me and said drearily, “.. erm, you can have that for Valentine’s Day if you want’ I looked at him rather bemused. I’d chosen and purchased it myself whilst he’d stood them looking uninterested. Now suddenly something I’d bought myself was my Valentine’s Day present! Something was amiss.

Now this is not a complaint. Dave has done some very romantic things and made some lovely gestures in the past. But is this the height of romance presently in our lives? Is this where we are now, with two toddlers and married for almost four years, both mega busy with home life and work life, are we just too busy for romance?

I think it’s since we’ve had our two Children, we’ve not really bothered celebrating Valentine’s Day. Previously Dave has sent flowers to me at work, bought or made me nice gifts and of course, we’ve done the whole romantic meal out thing too.

But was it all forced? Yes of course it was!

Shouldn’t we be romantic, show appreciation and love every day, rather than buying a card on a specific date and presenting our loved ones with a box of chocolates, a bunch of red roses and a bottle of Prosecco?

Is it genuine if it isn’t spontaneous?

I am in two minds.

I dislike the consumerism that surrounds Valentine’s Day. For weeks I’ve been inundated by email from Moonpig, Funky Pigeon, ASOS, Bunches and Interflora all trying so hard to convince me I need to get organised and prove my love to that special person in my life by purchasing one of their products. Even tonight’s email from Domino’s Pizza involved them attempting to swoon me into purchasing some tasty pizza, ‘Love is in the air and you’ll love these deals’ I mean, I get their marketing strategies, but it just all seems a tad too much.

However, I am also a traditionalist. I love an excuse to celebrate, drink wine, eat nice food, be treated and to treat loved ones too. Perhaps we need the date in our diaries each year to consider being romantic or to take time out from our busy schedules and spend some time together?

This Valentine’s Day Dave and I shall most likely be doing nothing, or perhaps enjoying a bottle of wine over a game of Scrabble (Probably won’t happen…) but that’s about it. No expensive flowers, meals out or gifts (Well, apart from the skirt I purchased myself?) We’ll maybe exchange cards, but, maybe not! This probably depends if we manage to get out to the shops! But if we don’t, it’s not a big deal.

When I was little, my Mum would buy us a chocolate heart lollypop for Valentine’s Day. I’ll always remember receiving them. So, I’m carrying on the tradition! Gabriel and Willow will always be given them from me too. I quite like the idea of this tradition and I suppose this is because having Children means becoming selfless, and the breaking the routine and doing something that isn’t Children-centred seems out of the norm and it just doesn’t seem that appealing anymore?!

Maybe Valentine’s Day is just for loved-up teenagers, who are child-free, carefree, have lots of time on their hands and, well maybe are just lacking in cynicism?!

If I’m totally honest it does make me a little sad. But, if I think about it, I’d much rather be a Mummy of two toddlers that has no time for planned romance, because whilst Valentine’s Day is sweet and a nice tradition in my
opinion, you just can’t beat spontaneity.

Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Or is it just another day in February for you?



  1. says

    I know exactly what you mean. In 30+ years together! I think I’ve only had 2 cards on Valentines Day…but my birthday is the week before, and Hubby spoils me rotten usually. He also says that he shouldn’t be coerced into saying he loves me just because “they” tell him to. Sometimes I will cook him a special meal, but we do know we love each other.

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